Bittersweet Love Part 18

Dedicated to Salooma for making my day with her comment :)

(KHALED'S POINT OF VIEW)

I've never pictured my future. I've never set plans for my love life. I've never imagined myself laying down on a couch in my living room with my wife and kids laughing at something on TV.

But now...

Now i see it. I see my future. Lujain. I love her more today than i did yesterday. I will love her more in 10 years than I do today. I can see us hanging out at home with our kids laughing. I can see it all and to say the least its scaring me. I'm going to settle down. One woman. One. Just one, for the rest of my life.

After receiving a bbm from Lujain with their house number, i took a moment to take all this reality in. Once i walk down those stairs and hand my mom a piece of paper with my her mom's number, and as soon as she calls, there is NO turning back.

As i wrote down her number on a post-it, all i could think about is whether or not i really wanted this. Most of the time, the answer was yes. But when i doubted myself, i couldn't decide if they were just cold feet or if i really did not want this.

I made my way down the long line of stairs and finally reached the couch where my mother was sitting sipping her tea, watching TV and peeling away at a small bowl of 7ab shamsy. I clenched the paper with my right hand, it seemed like it was glued and my mouth was glued shut as well. I sat there watching the dramatic TV show still drowning in my thoughts until i was able to blurt out...

Y-Yuma?

mom: hallaa khaloodi

me: yuma hach ilraqam

mom: ay raqam?

me: raqam bait Al-Flani, abe Lujain *i said it without hesitation, it must mean i want it*

mom: ee eee, khalas bas e2athen ilmagharb adeg... bas mama abeek troo7 7ag ubook ib makteba ta7at abeek tkalma gabel la adeg 3an ilmawthoo3. ana kalamta gabel shwaya bas yaby e7acheek..

me: inshallah min 3yoony ya aghla um bil 3alam.

I got up and kissed her forehead then walked away. I went down to our basement where my dad has an office near a very laid back living room.

I knocked the door...

Dad: tfathaal!

Me: ahlan ahlan bil walid! *me and my dad were very cool together*

dad: hehhe halla feek! ta3al eg3ad..

me: inshallah...

dad: shloun iljam3a? mita ilimti7anat inshallah?

me: wallah zainaa, inshallah abdy awal emte7an a week from today, kint babdy dirasa ilyoum

dad: 3afyaaa 3alamtek 3adel ;) edriss gabelha ib wagt oo rayi7 balek..

me: ee i only learn from the best ;)

dad: shift shlouun.. inzain khalna min hal small talk, abe akalmek 3an mawthoo3 bint AlFlani...

me: ee umi galatly..

dad: min 9ijik inta?

me: wallah yuba ee, min9ijy. *i did it again, no hesitation*

dad: bas tadre ina mako zawaj ela 3ugub ma tetkharaj 9a7?

me: adre yuba, bas maby akoon min hal shabab eli akalem bint oo agoolaha ena bi9eer shay bainaa oo akher shay 7ata khi6ba mat9eer. yuba ana kibart 3ala hal suwalif. abe jidam ilnas a7afeth 3ala ilbint, maby akharebha. ilrayal may3eeba shay, bas ilbint.. ilbint yuba jawhara... maby akharebha.

dad: uff wildy kibar..

me: yuba late6anaz 3alaay tikfa, min9ijy. a7ibha.

dad: min9ijik inta? Khalid ilbnya kubrek! ahalha byerthoun ib khi6ba?

me: ee laish mayrthoun? nage9na shay a7na?

dad: la il7imidelah, bas ilmawthoo3 mu 3an itha nage9na shay wela la2. yuba ilmawthoo3 3an itha intaw tawkom sghar 3ala ilzawaj wela la2...

me: winta oo umi? ha yuba? madre mino kha6ab umi lama kanat 18 wuhwa kan 20.. mu nafs ilqisa? Lujain 19, akbar min umi ba3ad wagt'ha...

dad: gabel ghair.

me: il7ub yithghayar?

dad: ee yafreg...

me: shloun yuba?

dad: gabel kan ghair khalid, ilnas ghair, ma7ad kan 3inda suwalif...

me: wana abe akh6uibha la2ani ma abe suwalif. yuba ebtakh6eblyaha? wela shloun?

dad: hehhe khalood roo7 gool 7ag umik itdeg 3ala bait'hom 3ugub 9alat ilmaghreb..

me: ya3ni ee?

dad: akeed.

I ran to the other side of the desk and kissed my father's balding forehead. I proceeded to the door with a huge grin on my face. I closed the door to his office shut and did my little happy dance. If Lujain saw me do that, i don't think we'd get married.. HAH! who am i kidding? were in love...

Bittersweet Love Part 17

Next day...

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

I woke up to the cutest message from Khaled: 9abaa7 ilkhair wifey! hahahha ana 7ader al7een bakalem umi mithel ma gilna ams, once im done il bbm u and when ur back il tell u the details. a7ibich:*

i replied: 9abaa7 ilnoor :* okay talk to you soon!

I got up changed out of my comfy pjs and wore a loose white top and leggings with black flats, i wanted to be comfortable. Me and Jawa decided to go get breakfast to go from a nearby starbucks and head back to our houses. I had so much work to get done & most of all i wanted to talk to Khaled. MY Khaled :D

After endless screaming, laughing and singing we finally reacher home, i dropped her off and headed home which was a few seconds down the road. I sat with my mom for what seemed like ages, bas 7aram ma shift;ha in a couple of days fa ga3adt. I raced upstairs using the "i need the bathroom" excuse & quickly called Khaled!

ring ring ring...

Him: halla bil ghalya hallllaaa

Me: ahlan ahlaan

him: shlonich?

me: ta3banaaa, youu?

him: me too!

me: shaklee baraye7 ba3dain i start studying..

him: 3ad ilyoum ana ba3ad kint badris.

me: qalad mako shakh9iya hahhha

him: siktaaay hahhha lajoooon?

me: khaaaaled?

him: hehhe agollich? wela af?

me: madre, tabe tgool? gool.. mataby tgool? kaifik!

him: la wallah? ya3ni mayhimich t3arfeen ina umi tabe raqam baitkom 3ashan itdig 3ala umich?

me: la imbela ehemnyy

him: 3abali ba3ad

Me&him: hahahahahahhahhahahahahhahhhahahhahahahaaa

We burst out laughing like idiots ina 9ij bit9eer ilsalfaaa!!

him: lajoon siktaay ga9ray 7isich! hahahhha a7ibich

me: hahahhhhaha mane gadra asket...

him: hahhha siktay yallaaa roo7ay g3day wiya umich and bbm me the number

me: inshallah hahhaha

him: lujain i love you!

me: hahha i love you too!!

him: byee

me: byeee

EVERYTHING WAS FALLING INTO PLACE! Finally i found my man! i found THE man!

Bittersweet Love Part 16

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

Dashait dakhel ilshalaih & a million thoughts were racing back & forth. Shsawait ana? What is he going to think of me? oh my God fashalt 3umry!

I decided to change into my pjs, wash up and get into bed, yimkin he bbms me...

20 minutes later i was in bed watching an episode of Friends that was on tv. I always loved Ross, he was so geeky... in the middle of my giggles and Ross' stupidity, i get a bbm..

Khaled: Lujain?

Me: hala

Him: ma nimtay?

me: la im watching tv, laish ma nimt?

him: mako thinking...

me: about?

him: about how much im falling for u

me: really?

him: lujain wallah mu fahmaa intay, ana ma a7eb. bas right now ana mayit feech.

me: khaled madre shagoolik bas i really like you too

him: i dont like you, lujain 6alal alflani, i love you.
eee eee i love you
i L O V E you

me: khaled are u serious? or is it because of what just happened baina?

him: what happened just now baina akadly ina ur the one i want, ur the one i want to be with, the one i want to marry, the one i want to have kids with, the one i want to laugh, cry and get angry with. Lujain intay ilbint ilwa7eeda eli afaker feeha lama aghamth 3ainy. your the only girl that i can picture being my wife and raising my children.

me: khaled?

him: yes?

me: khaled i dont want to sound like a kid....

him: mafahamt?

me: i love you too

him: shino? 9ij? are you saying it because i said it? or do u really mean it?

me: wallah i love you khaled

him: Lujain, bacher lama inrid ildeera bakalem umi.

me: what?

him: bas she knows 7a6 wa7da ib baly oo bas bakh6ibich. This is going to happen soon khalas. Once i tell her agoolich..

me: khaled?

him: a7ibich.. roo7ay namay yallah

me: hehehhe okay ti9ba7 3ala khairr

him: wintay min ahalaaa

(KHALED'S POINT OF VIEW)

Bas bacher lama arid ildeera bakalem umi oo adre enha bitwafeq la2ana ihya mayta tabeeni akh6ib 3ashan awal ma atkharaj atawaj.. oo al7een ligait eli a7ibha oo abeeha fa khalas its time to seal the deal...

Lujain 6alal AlFlani & Khaled Fahad AlFlani

erta7 baly oo min a9ba7 afla7, let me try to get some sleep, big day tomorrow..

Bittersweet Love Part 15

(KHALED'S POINT OF VIEW)

9arat ilsa3a 1 oo qararna ina bn6la3 al7een 7adag. naalna il6arad oo mishaina, kina imjahzeen aghrathna already dakhel ilshalaih. &ail kan ib kha6ry akshet ib rab3y waroo7 ag3ad wiya Lajoonty.. ee LAJOONTTTYYYY MALTY! Kan weddi adeg 3alaiha agoolaha tanzel min shalaihum oo nig3ad ma3a ba3ath 3ala ilba7ar, mino bishoofna ya3ni? Rifeejat'ha bitkoon nayma.. Akh bas!

ilmohim, 6ool l6ireej wana afaker feeha. kilshwaya aba6el 9oorat'ha malat bbm wakhiz'ha laima a7is 3ala nafsy wastaw3eb ina ib ay la7tha wa7id min ilrabi3 yestaw3eb eni "mughram" hhehehhe.. ilmohim, kan jad malaqa ana aslan yaay la2ana adre ina ilshabab yaboony ayee, wela itha 3alay aroo7 ag3ad bel shalaih wayed abrakli..

6la3at ilshams wana 3ala nafs il7ala, bbm ashoof yimkin itezli shay aw ipod oo 7ade sar7aaan! 

ilshabab 9adaw shwayat simach bas kilish mahamna, ray7een 7ag il"wanasa" ma3ana ma sheft ilwanasa feeha. 

9arat ilsa3a 5 oo qararna nrid ilshalaih. ma kint abe anam, kint ga3ed a7lem bel jet oo bel ba7ar, abe astanis. thnaina min ilshabab galaw byanzloon ma3ay.. khoush. Akeed ra7 ashoof Lujain. Akhh 3ad shloun shakelha bikoon? Akeed ra7 ayenn itha shift'haa ib her swim suit.. i wonder. 

"yalla 3ala eedek 7abeebi yallah 3alemny dakhalat ib madresat 7ubek w tawny bel sina iloulaaa" ghniyat mona amarshaa 3alegaat oo ma kint gader awagefhaa...

yalla Lujain goomay...

Chenha sma3atny oo radat 3alaay! I got a bbm from her

"9abaa7 ilkhaair! Radaitaw ilshalaih?"

me: 9abaa7 ilnoor! 9aa7 ilnoum! ee tawna radaina gabel shwaya, banzel ba7ar in a bit. you?

her: 9a7 bdenek.. how was it? bnitrayag oo nanzel ba7ar...

me: wallah ana malait, bas ilshabab istanisaw.. riyoog huh? ma3zoom?;p

her: hahahh ee akeeeed! 7ayaaak!

me: min 9iji.

her: huh? 

me: min 9iji yalla al7een yayech zahbay ilriyoog..

her: uhh Khaled, no!

me: LOL adreee i just love messing with you...

her: latkhare3ny chitheee next time loool

me: ya3ni shda3wa may9eer, this sucks. 

her: yeah i knowww!

me: oh so you also want to hang out with me?

her: ee i do..

me: so why dont we?

her: shqasdek?

me: latifhimeeni ghala6, bas i'd really love to hang out with you sometime abe a3aref mino Lujain akthar!

her: mafahamtek ghala6, mafahmt bas;p uhh, madree Khaled wouldnt it be kind of awkward?

me: only if you make it awkward...

her: true, bas wain oo shlon?

me: ilyoum? we can walk on the beach..

her: bas Jawa? your friends?

me: my friends ma3alaich khaleehom 3alay.. When Jawa sleeps come.. 

her: bas akhaf its too late.

me: your gna be bel ba7ar all day... i dont think shes going to have a lot of energy belail.. 

her: true, she'll be asleep by 10, im sure.

me: khalas awal ma tnam tell me oo ayeelch..

her: ok great. see you then :) ttyl breakfast and ba7ar..

me: take care Lujain :)

her: you too Khaled :)

MA A9ADEG. Akheeran!

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

Wallah law tadree 3ani Jawa, tithba7ny. Bas serously what am i supposed to do? i want alone time with him too! mu min 7agy? the guy says he wants to marry me. Mu ga3deen insawee shay ghala6. 

After a long day & after taking a shower, i got a bbm from Khaled telling me hes ready. I told him Jawa was asleep & that i just needed to change. I kept it simple, ya3ni shda3wa. Hes supposed to like me no matter what. I wore my jeans shorts with a white body & an orange Juicy cardigan with black Juicy flip flops. I applied some bronzer to enhance my tan & some mascara. I wanted to look like i was at the beach all day, i didnt want to look too glammed up. I wore my favorite necklace, 2 rings, my diamond studs and fixed my hair. I then sprayed on some perfume.

I bbmed him & told him where the shalaih was. Minutes later he was on the beach in navy blue shorts and a white polo shirt & flip flops. He waited for me to come & said hi. He shook my hand (which i found very polite of him). We walked comfortably, it didn't seem awkward. 

him: shhal taaaaaan?

me: hehehe eeee, al7een inta ga3ed bel ba7ar all day oo bas hatha lounik?

him: eee shiftay shloun? ma asbagh bser3a!

me: hehhe ghareeba.

him: ee.. so tell me about you ba3ad..

me: wallah madre shagoolik hhehhe

him: abe a3aref qisas 3anich wintay yahel *he gave me a really warm smile*

me: *i lookeddown & started digging in through my memories for stories about my childhood* hmm... well, umm.. hahahahhahahahahahahhahhha

him: hahahha shfeeeeeech! magiltay ilsalf oo ghashaitay!

me: eeee la2ana tithakart salfa;p

him: yalla goolay!

me: okay hahaha i was 7 or 8 years old oo 6al3a wiya ubouii.... 

(KHALED'S POINT OF VIEW)

bas th7akat lama tithakart ilsalfa i wanted to hold her in my arms and hug her layma ti6la3 ilshams! Abe aboos'ha! Abe ag3ad wiyaha all night! Abeeha. 

kanat tgooli ilsalfa & all i could do was stare into her eyes and watch her every move. Ityanen. 

Shloun 9irt chithe ana? Shloun 7abait wa7da? Ma a7eb ib kel sihoola, hathe dashat galby oo msekta! 

kamalna mashy 3ala ilba7ar, madre wain wi9alna bas kan wanasa.. on our way back kint ga3da asoulif 3an ahaly agoolaha akthar 3anhom oo madre shloun right then and there my hand made its way to her and we locked fingers. She didnt look at me but i was looking at her right when it happened. In9idamt min nafsy. Shloun misakt eedhaaaa?! I didnt even think of doing it. Anyway, i held her soft hand which seemed to be tiny in my hand and we walked, i kept squeezing her and she kept squeezing back, but we didnt say a word about it. 

I didnt want to let go, bas Lujain got tired fa i told her I'd give her a piggy back ride for fun;p she thought i was kidding. ma darat. I picked her up on my back oo rikatht feeha on the sand! I ran as afast as i could and she was laughing so hard bas trying to stay quiet 3ashan she doesnt attract any attention. 

Her: KHALOODDDDD PUT ME DOWN HAHAHAHHAHAH!!

me: SHH!! HAHAHHA LAAA2 I WONT!

her: please hahahahahhhaha ba6nyyyyyy!

me: shfeeeech * i stopped*

her: *she whispered in my ear* khalid put me down now please

me: *i turned my face to my right shoulder and her face was just inches away, her beautiful eyes were staring at mine, her nose was so close to touching mine & her lips were just an inch away. I was so tempted, but i didnt.. i couldnt do that to her.* inshallah min 3yoony, cham Lujain 3indy ana?

her: wa7da oo bas wa7da! nazelnyyyyy

me: *i put her down slowly* erta7tay?

her: eeeee hahahha that was fun!

me: 3asa doum mistansaa ma3ay!

her *she looked down & smiled*

me: yalla emshay its almost 1, thats too late may9eer chithee..

her: ayshay its 1?

me: eee yallaaa

her: weeeh okk, lets take our time malekhelg amshy;p

me: hehe okk;p

We talked for 10 minutes or so while walking to their shalaih. We stopped and this is where things got a little awkward. 

me: your staying bacher 9a7?

her: atwaqa3 bacher il9ib7 bin7arek, we dont have anything thank God for long weekends, bas waray shghel..

me: ee nafs 7alty, abe adres

her: ee 7ata ana 

me: ee inzain bitnameen al7een?

her: atwaqa3, you?

me: ee akeed;p

her: goodnightt Khaled

me: bas chithee good night oo bitdisheen?

her: la2

me: 3ayal?

We were standing a fewsteps away from eachother.. She walked towards me and looked at me... ana wigaft oo ma sawait shay, abe ashoof shino her plan. She held my hands and i pulled her closer to me and she put her arms around me and hugged me. I put my arms around her and hugged back. Her hair was in my face & i couldnt help but smell it. It was so fruity, i loved it. She stepped back and said good night again and walked away. 

I was standing there waiting for her to go inside the shalaih. I couldnt move, ma kint mistaw3eb shay. 

Bittersweet Love Part 14

Havent posted in a while, what with graduation & a million things going on... C: i promise i'll post more often! :)

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

A7LAAA 9idfa! I'm so happy we went out for breakfast before going to shalaih. It gave me a chance to see Khaled after our amazing talk yesterday. We have a lot in common. il7imdilah.

ilmohim, after eating our breakfast, we paid and i got into my car and Jawa rkibat yamy. I noticed Khaled, my former Mr. Dishdasha also paid but was probably waiting for his change. I didn't want to seem desperate to see him, shbigool 3anii ba3dain? So, i just left.

Jawa plugged in the AUX & her ipod and we listened to our special shalaih playlist. I loved our drives to the shalaih. My parents would let me if i went early in the morning. Itha belail, ansa shay isma sayaraa oo shalaih! Anyway, we were almost there so i told Jawa to call 9ub7y they're 7ares to open the gates to their halaih 3ashan indish.

After settling in i took my phone out of my bag & bbmed Khaled.

Me: Hey! That was awkward huh? I just arrived to Bnaider shalaih my friend. I'm going to spend the weekend here so its going to be kind of hard to talk to you on the phone & bbm..

2 minutes later he replies: Hey.. ouff 7ada:p 7ilfay intay ib bnaider? ana bayee ilyoum bas akhalis min ilnady! inshoofich;)

Me: hahha khalas bbm me when your here?

Him: min 3yoonii :D

I was so tempted to say "YESLAMLY HAL 3YOON OO HAL 7ALAT OO HAL 6OOL OO HAL JISIM" bas ista7ait 3ala wayhee oo sikat;p

Anyway, we changed into our swim suits, got our yummy fruit drinks and headed to the waves! We went back to being baby Jawa & Lujain. I loved it. It was a much simpler time. We didn't care about anything except having fun. After going crazy, the sun was about to set so i got my ipod and speakers and decided to chill before showering and getting food.

The pink sky slowly faded into a purple one then a navy one as we got up and head in to wash up.

We were clean & ready to head out to get dinner and go back to eat while we watched tv. Rikabt sayarty oo fita7t iltenta oo i plugged in my ipod. Sha3re lail7een kan fe shwaya maay oo i was soooo tanned! I chose to wear a white top and jeans shorts 3ashan my tan ebayen ;)

I checked my phone wela 3indy bbm min Khaled egooli ina wi9al ilshalaih an hour ago oo ina byt3ashoun oo they watch tv ba3dain biroo7oon 7adag.

I replied with a simple: great, enjoy :D

Ma kint abe a36ee wayed wayh, akhaf i do oo yifhamha ghala6.

Anyway...

As a drove down the long road Khaled's smile was all i could think about. I threw my phone in the cup holder and cranked up the volume. I sang and laughed with Jawa, everything seemed to fall into place. It was perfect.

After having dinner we decided to sleep & wake up nice and early to tan and enjoy the waves.

Bittersweet Love Part 13

(KHALED'S POINT OF VIEW)

Ga6ait zigarty oo rifa3t rasy, wela ashoof ajmal bint bil 3alam...

Lujain? 6ala3t mobily bashoof itha radat 3ala my message wela lail7een ma radat. Shfeeha... She looked so hot. Labsa libs ilshalaih, nafnoof gi9eer wase3 shwaya bas ebayen jisimhaa lail7een, 7adaa 7ilo shakelha. I couldnt take my eyes off her, even if i wanted to.

She passed right next to me, i could smell her perfume. Im sure she wanted to act like she didnt know me, like we decided, but honestly, i dont care who sees us together, I want her. My eyes were fixed on her eyes, hair, arms, legs, and her sexy curves. I wanted to be next to her, i wanted to be here with her, i wanted to lead her in and place my hand on her back while we walk in. Theres so much i want to do....:)

She finally looked at me, I smiled at her. She smiled back and flipped her hair then opened the door and walked in.

Ga3adt afaker ina hathy mu mithel kil ilbanat. I can tell. I've had my share of girls, and this one is definitely different.

2 minutes passed and she walked out with her friend and sat on the table right next to ours. Shda3wa galby kan ga3id yerga3? Ashwa ina we just ordered which would mean ina we'd leave at the same time. I heard her voice and i couldn't help but listen to every word she said.

They were talking about their plans bil shalaih and about their families and friends...
Wahab my friend noticed that something was going on, but hes my best friend, he wasn't going to say anything.

Our food arrived and we were both in out separate worlds.

Until.....

Bittersweet Love Part 12

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

I woke up from the best sleep ever feeling so refreshed. I actually wanted to get out of bed. I wanted to start a new day. I wanted to go out to breakfast then head to shalaih, but most of all, i wanted to talk to Khaled. How was i going to do that with Jawa in the picture?

I decided not to think too much about anything. I washed up and wore my beach dress. It was above my knee, yellow and flowy. I loved this dress, it always flattered my skin color. I slipped on my orange flipflops, applied some bronzer and mascara, grabbed my weekend bag and headed down. My mom and dad were having breakfast, i decided to stay awhile and have some juice with them. I kissed them goodbye and headed over to Jawa's. She was still in bed, so i woke her up and after getting her ready, we headed to prime and toast.

I was driving. We blasted on the music and were singing until our vocal chords felt like they were going to burst. My phone was in my bag, which was in the back seat, i totally forgot about it, as usual. We got to prime and toast, i parked and took out my wallet and phone. I was checking my bbms and missed calls.

2 missed calls: Khaled
3 bbms: one from Khaled, and 2 broadcasts.

Khaled's bbm messages:

Good morning sunshine :D
I'm heading out to breakfast btw
Shaklich lail7een nayma:p call me when you wake up..


I look up from my phone wela ashof Khaled! He was wearing beige shorts, a white Hackett shirt and black tod's... I loved a man wearing that, it was so attractive. oo 6ab3an, he looked really hot. He had a dirty beard and his hair was short and well groomed. I loved his look. He was sitting down outside on the table right next to the door, so I had to pass next to him. He looked so hot smoking his cigarette. I couldnt take my eyes off of him.

I passed by his table, and he looked at me.. I couldn't help but smile back. He looked really hot. I mean REEEEEAAAALLLLLYYYYY hot..

Something happened though...