Bittersweet Love Part 21

(LUJAIN'S POINT OF VIEW)

me: khaled shfeek?

him: mafeeni shay

me: latchaithib 3alay

him: mu ga3id achathib

me: ok, i could sit here all day until u tell me shfeek.

he didnt say a word. we sat there for what seemed like half an hour just staring at the cars passing by. blue ones, white ones, red ones, black ones. with each car that passes by, i could feel my heart beating so hard that it would stop at any moment. i couldn't take it anymore, so i just blurted it all out

me: if you didnt want to get married, you didnt have to propose.

he didnt say a word..

me: if you didnt want to be my husband khaled, then you didnt have to tell me you wanted me to be your wife.

he didnt even look at me.

me: khaled, itha matabeeni laish tabe takh6ibny?

he didnt move an inch, but his breathing got heavier.

me: khaled

him: LUJAIN SHTABEEEEEEEN?!!!

i froze.

he got up and pulled a chair and sat right next to me. he took my hand in his and looked deep into my eyes as he said:

Lujain wallah abeech. wras umi oo ubouy abeech. abeech. tadreen shino ya3ni ana oo agoom wana a7lem ib 7ayatna ma3a ba3ath? tadreen shino ya3ni abee atzawijich? tadreen shino ya3ni lama agooolich abeech t9eereen um 3yaly? i mean every single thing i say bas yakhy 7aram i get cold feet? 7aram akhaf? 7aram atwatar? lazim kilshay asawee akoon 100% mit2aked oo i dont hav my doubts?

he stopped to take a breath, the second he stopped i started:

khaled, mu 3aib enik tkhaf. bas inta tabe titzawaj. ilzawaj mu rainbows oo butterflies oo its not perfect. its not easy. its not beautiful unless you make it beautiful. mas2ooleeya. ahaly oo ahalik are getting married, not just me and you. expectations rise and our families are going to want to know everything that goes on. so when you say enek mu 100% mit2aked u want this, think again before having your mom call me mom. Khaled im only 18, fe alf wa7id ra7 eeyeeni, maby at3alag chithe. you either want me or you dont. inta dash ib hal mawthoo3 lazim itkoon mit2aked ina this is what you want.

i pulled my hand away from his and looked out the window. i didnt want to cry, but i was broken inside. khaled held my hand again and said:

lujain ana shgilt? abeech.

me: tabeeni fa tsawee feeni chithee oo mu mit2aked?

him: ee abeech. oo mit2aked min hal shay/

me: bas you just said...

he cut me off and said: khalas al7een ti2akadt ina abeech lujain. after everything you said, na7ashtay those feelings of doubt. i dont doubt us anymore. lujain i know our families are the ones getting married not just me and you, i know that were still young, and believe me i know that there are a million guys that wish to be around you. Lujain ana al7een masek eed jawhara and im not willing to let go.

i jokingly said: mit2aked?

he gave me his million dollar smile and said: ee mit2aked.

me: ok

him: bas ok?

me: ee bas ok..

him: ok.

me: shtaby?

him: siktay

me: ok.

him: ok.

he got up and sat in front of me again, i sipped on my coffee and continued staring out the window but he continued staring at me.